Top Ten Most Awesome Historical Portland Quotes

By oregonhistorian · On April 25, 2013

So here and there in our humble little broadcasts, we have identified some quite memorable characters or lines that we have come across in the Beaver State’s History. We thought it might be a good idea to post these musings in a centrally located place, to allow others to ponder their significance, or even add to this by no means comprehensive list.

We will be adding to this posting, and encourage you, Dear Ass Kicker, to submit your own favorite historical Oregon quotes. Feel free to email us at oregonhistorian[at]gmail.com, or you could even just post a reply to this request in the form below. We are very much down with this becoming an organic, user created list – just let us know WHERE you found the quote, cause we need to verify that shit. We are REAL historians, after all…

So we don’t have TEN yet, but here are a few that are bound to be on the final list…

“By God! Them stiffs has been drinking undertaker’s dope!” – Bunco Kelly, October 1893, after finding 24 dead and dying men under the Snug Harbor Saloon.

“Will the guy who has my bike please bring it back so I can get home?” – Bill Walton, to hundreds of thousands of Blazers fans at the 1977 NBA Championship Parade, after his bike was stolen.

“I do not allow such work here.” – The Stark Street Ferryman to Danford Balch, immediately after Balch shot his son-in-law, the horrifically named Mortimer Stump, on the said ferry in November of 1858.

“These are desperate, hard times, Charlie. I don’t know how we are going to get along, getting poorer all the time. I think if I can’t get ahead some other way pretty soon I’ll go out to the cemetery and dig up Ladd’s bones.” Dan Magone to Charles Montgomery, Feburary 1897, on the Madison Street Bridge, hatching the plan to steal William S. Ladd’s corpse. Creeeeepy…

So now it’s your turn, Dear Ass Kicker! Let us know what YOU think should be put on the list!

And of course… Dave Knows Portland‘s favorite: “What About Frogs?”