Portland, Oregon – 12/8/2011 – For Immediate Release:
Dioramas! Die-Oh-Ram-Ahs! Those awesome little cardboard boxes detailed with globs of glue and faded construction paper that make history just jump to life!
You made them in Mrs. Dingleberry’s 5th grade American History class. You saw them at that Crappy County Historical Society your Dad drug you to on that one summer road trip. And you envied Suzie Snotgrass’s winning science faire entry of Tranquility Base (bitch!).
NOW Vengeance can be yours, Dear Ass Kicker! www.orhstory.com is announcing our first Kick Ass Oregon History Diorama Contest!!!
It goes like this: make a diorama depicting a Kick Ass Oregon Historical event. Take some pictures. Email them to us by January 15th. We we announce the winner at our January 17th Stumptown Stories show at The Jack London Bar (4th and Alder, 529 SW 4th Ave Portland). Bask in fame and glory and gain a whole gang of 26 year old stripper girl friends as a result. ANNDD win some prizes!!
Dioramas will be judged on 4 categories, each worth 10 points (40 points total)
1) Kick Ass-ness
2) Oregon Historical Significance
4) Ass Kicken-ness!
AND – Earn a BONUS 5 Points by bringing your diorama to the Jack London show on January 17th at 7:30pm!
The prize? A Kick Ass Oregon History T-shirt, AND an awesome prize donated by www.Criminalcrafts.com. Internet Fame AND the panache to tell Suzie Snotgrass at the 15th Reunion, “Oh shut your trap, Bitch!”
SO get to cutting and gluing! And email those pics to email@example.com (feel free to drop a few dirty ones in there too if you wish…